Preface
I honestly don’t even know how to begin here. This post is going to seem like it was written with a hopeless outlook on life, and it’s going to cover my opinion on some very prevalent topics. If you don’t think trans people deserve human rights, such as the right to be who they want, stop reading this now and get the fuck off the internet. If you believe that AI will replace humanity and couldn’t care less, or god forbid even welcome that (because it’s come to my attention that some people think this way), stop reading this, it isn’t for you.
Shortcomings
I’ve had some off takes in the past and I believe that step 1 of growth is recognizing my shortcomings as a human being. I want to talk about some of mine in the open and talk a little bit about how I have been or plan on fixing them.
First, I want to provide an update to my post about Rust. It seems a lot of the issues I had previously are resolved. As a result, I picked up Rust earlier this year and have been enjoying it for the most part. There are still problems I can’t wrap my head around, like that of object safety, or why axum won’t compile async when I have a custom state type defined. But, I’m learning and even implementing a new language in Rust, and have been mostly enjoying myself so far.
Another place I have fallen behind this year is in my career. I need to get my degree already, and have plans to attend the University of Arizona in my home city of Tucson. Job searching sucks for everybody now, that’s just how it is. The current climate of our industry for getting hired feels dismal given all the layoffs and shitty people in higher positions making a joke of things we have built, like Twitter (looking at you Elon). The sinking feeling that even if I do get hired for a position I love, I may be laid off because an AI can do it better or even just let go for under-performing has been CRUSHING my ability to motivate myself this year. I still have hope, and I’m holding on as well as I can to the idea that I can find a position that values me as a human for all the hard work I put in, and that I may be able to make a difference in the world.
I want to get back on hormones. I started them earlier this year and had to put them on pause because of my financial situation. When I started estrogen, the feeling of relief I experienced was like none other. This was arguably one of my highest points this year and I long to feel it again.
AI and the Fall of our Economy
If someone asked me to list the good and bad things AI has done for society in the past year, the good list would be completely empty. This is the reality of AI. Silicon Valley Bank? It collapsed because a bunch of AI related companies were failing. Investors like A16Z have cut back investing in new projects because with AI, they can no longer validate the integrity of someone founding a business. Governments in Africa are under attack because AI has given regular citizens with no moral compass the tools to penetrate their older security systems.
Our economy will collapse, and in many ways it is already showing signs of weakness. Economists speculate that we will transfer into a period of leisure based economy, where 5% of people are doing work behind the scenes, the rest is handled by AI, and the rest of us can fuck off and drink our piña coladas on the beach. Sounds nice, right? Not to me. If you are purpose driven and want to make meaningful change in the world like I do, this sounds like hell.
Many real artists now feel like their jobs are meaningless, yet are still forced to have a source of income to ensure they have their basic needs met, like housing, food, water, electricity, etc. The list goes on, humans are very complicated animals with many complex needs. This isn’t limited solely to artists either. I myself am stuck in a rat race where I feel like none of the strife I endure today will ensure my needs are met tomorrow, and while my situation isn’t only a fault of AI, I understand this feeling, and at the very least I recognize that a technology like AI that makes humans this hopeless is not good, and I believe it is not welcome.
None of this really mentions the whole world of ethical problems AI poses, but I don’t really wish to touch on those because it isn’t my area of expertise and I don’t have any meaningful input otherwise.
My core belief is that a computer is designed to do what humans ask of it, NOT whatever the fuck it wants, and the way AI is headed goes directly against that core belief.
Other Observations I made in 2023
Hate is at an all-time high. I bought a gun in April to ensure my own safety as a targeted minority. I would personally rather not own firearms but my life comes before that of someone mindlessly attacking me, and I will never be afraid to defend myself if need be. My purchase of a firearm was mostly triggered by a man named Ethan Schmidt threatening to “hunt” people shopping at Target’s pride displays. Here’s an article from AZCentral
Since Elon took over at Twitter, we have seen many public figures (J. K. Rowling, Glinner, Kanye West, the list goes on and on and on) being openly hateful towards marginalized groups including those that involve myself and people I care about. I will never stand for this, and seeing people allowed to act this way makes me indefinitely tired. I used Twitter a lot less this year but as I reflect now, I am noticing that Twitter has done nothing but tire me this year. As a result, I will be privating my account at the very least, and probably deactivating it entirely going into the new year. Twitter no longer brings me joy - time to get rid of it. If you’re reading this and agree that hate is not okay and all too prevalent on Twitter, I encourage you to consider the idea that Twitter is a lost cause, and consider the prospect of doing the same. You can talk to your friends elsewhere - Discord for example, I’m @lizzythewitch there.
As the year comes to an end, I find my beliefs on this topic align as such:
- We are all ONE(1) species
- We are all on the same fucking rock, floating through space with ZERO idea what lies in the future
- If we want to advance as a species and as a society, we need to recognize that we are all mere animals, and that some of us being different does not make those people any less human. Some of us just took a different evolutionary path. That includes every part of us, from our skin color to our identities and the way our brain works. We need to work together to improve our lives.
- There is no excuse for hate in any form, none of us are lesser than any other.
We should not be fighting each other as a species, we should be working together.
Things I’m Proud of in 2023
I feel like the way I believe and the way I see other people has mostly changed for the better. The actions people take still suck, and as a society we still do shitty things on the daily. But my understanding of the bigger picture and why this shit still happens has led me to be a more open-minded and understanding person, which I am very happy about.
Code wise, I don’t have a lot to show for this year. I have a lot of great ideas written down and I want to get to them, but I need to make sure my basic needs are met first, which means going to college and then finding a job. I did work on a few smaller projects this year, like a design system I implemented on top of Jetpack Compose, and a dead simple CRM I built for my roommate’s job.
I started my Duolingo streak this year in March, and I am currently at around 200 days in my streak! I have spent this time practicing my Spanish, and learning Dutch and Japanese
Things to do Differently in 2024
I want to get back into making music. I need a better outlet for my emotions and I have always loved music. I just need to get my guitar fixed and get my software all set up.
I need to get back on hormones. I don’t know where the money will come from though so that’s a problem I must solve first.
I picked up a habit of daily journaling close to the end of this year and fell off a bit as the holidays got difficult. I want to make that more of a priority going into 2024.
I’ve talked a lot about this already, but I need to go back to college and find a job that values me and pays well.
Less social media, it is destroying our society, and we need to find a way to avoid that fate if we wish to keep it around, because if we don’t, we won’t be around to use it anyway.
Concluding the Review
I’m not proofreading this. This year sucked, I am far too tired, and have lost the ability to care about menial things as long as my point gets across. If you read this far I hope you aren’t too disheartened by the message conveyed, and I thank you for hearing my rant. If you want to talk, even if you disagree with the core philosophy I expressed in this post, just shoot me a friend request on Discord @lizzythewitch.